Pigeon Shrine Frightfest Glasgow – Film Review

**The crimson carrion of retro Italian horror is resurrected in this streamlined shocker The Well, that lingers lovingly on sadistic gore.**

Sensitive art restorer Lisa is tasked with rejuvenating a completely fire-blackened medieval canvas in a small Italian village. On route, she meets a group of over-friendly fauna biologists who are to become prisoners of a shambling pot-bellied lunatic whose interests include self-face painting with body fluids, clucking like a demented chicken, and slashing the shit out of people ‘Hostel’ style before stuffing them down an ancient well.

Meanwhile, Lisa has problems of her own in the shape of an icily demanding client, a creepy teenager with attachment issues, a long-taloned, smooth-skulled sex pest, and a hat so cliché it’s painful to behold. As she reveals more sections of the deranged painting, her mental health becomes besieged by terrifying visions and distressing nightmares.

The two creepy clusterfucks are destined to collide in a blood-soaked psychodrama of supernatural secrets and sleeping evil.

Federico Zampaglione‘s feisty throwback to the gory excesses and wanton weirdness of direct-to-video Euro horror is undeniably entertaining. Rather than a lazy homage to Argento, Fulci and their ilk, though there is a straight shot lift from Tenebrae, he takes the same approach James Wan did with Malignant. That is to shamelessly make the kind of B-movie horror fare he would have lapped up at the time.

Thankfully, Zampaglione steers clear of the hackneyed throb of glowing neon and black-gloved killers to create a woozy folklore vibe that’s more akin to 1970s Hammer. The grue, madness and barely suppressed mania are all present and correct, as are slightly wooden acting and a plot with more holes than a mole convention.

With scant exposition and bare-bones character development, the film is little more than a series of schlocky set pieces. The atmosphere of creeping menace is well-curated, but its main purpose is to act as a well-oiled segway for casual dismemberment and close-focus flesh stripping.

To be fair, these scenes are gleefully unhinged from makeup effects artist Carlo Diamantini, the twisted mind behind the ultra-disturbing music video for Guineapig’s – Mermaid In A Manhole. Zampaglione intended to go balls deep on the gore front to recreate the focal selling point of vintage Italian splatter. Diamantini seems delighted to be free of any creative leash and delivers gloopy thrills on par with Giannetto De Rossi‘s legendary work on Haute Tension, Zombie Flesh-eaters, and Cannibal Apocalypse.

The casting is Rob Zombie levels of nepotistic as Zampaglione finds roles for his Wife, Daughter,(another Argentoism), and friends. However, they all do a solid job, not least the irrepressible cult genre giant Giovanni Lombardo Radice who has sadly since ed away, and trailblazing model Melanie Gaydos, All the Gods in the Sky, is as striking as ever as the shuddery Dorka embracing her Ectodermal Dysplasia to iconic effect.

Terrifier 2. Zampaglione exploits her demure screen presence, dwelling over her huge eyes and milking her wholesome charisma. The camera certainly loves this actress, who seems determined to immerse herself in splatter culture.

The Well is a no-nonsense thrill ride of nastiness with just the right mix of knowing trashiness and top-tier carnage to please aficionados of old-school Italian vulgarism and fledgeling gore hounds alike.